The ugliest plate in the world

This would look SO AWESOME in my china cabinet. Maybe someone will get it for me for Christmas...(oh pleez oh pleez oh pleez oh pleez)

New tree!

I was looking for a pink Christmas tree when I found this one and was completely dazzled. It looks so tasteful in my living room.

Driving is fun when you have headroom

I got a pretty new car. Daniel Pinkwater talked me into it. Not only does my head not hit the ceiling, the clearance is a good 10 inches. Also, it's yellow. Woot.

Goodnight, Odetta

Odetta died yesterday. I grew up hearing her music, and I was lucky enough to see her perform live in Ashland, Oregon many years ago. 

I love her version of this song. 

Smoking everywhere, continued

I forgot to mention I finally ordered the e-cigarette, and it arrived just in time for me to show it off as a party trick at the beach house over Thanksgiving. It's fun and hilarious.

It came with some nicotine cartridges, but so far I've only used the ones without nicotine. It's not EXACTLY the same as really smoking a cigarette--while the mysterious vapor does produce an odd prickly sensation in your mouth that does feel like a real cigarette, you have to take longer and slower drags to get the full looks-like-smoke-coming-out-of-your-mouth effect.  Once you get the hang of it, though, you can even blow smoke rings. The LED end of the thing looks astonishingly like a real lit cigarette, except that it doesn't produce smoke. Also, it weighs more than you'd think--a bit more than a double-A battery, I'd say.

All of my smoking relatives were entranced and intrigued. They've all tried to quit a million times, so naturally they are thinking hard about the cost of the e-cigarette compared to an actual cigarette habit. If the economy weren't so wretched, and if I hadn't decided to knit everyone's presents this year, I would definitely consider giving the e-cigarette to all of them for Christmas.

My sister is the only one who seemed worried about what is actually IN the e-cigarette vapor. She says she read online somewhere that nobody's really vetted it and nobody really knows if it's safe. I figure it's got to be better than actual tobacco smoke, but I'm betting it isn't totally innocuous. The second evening, I took a big drag and had a horrible coughing fit. It turned out I was just beginning to get a very bad cold, but still.

ANYWAY. Do I recommend this thing? Absolutely. I can't wait to use it in a bar.

"Peter Pan" is a great book

Brad and Angelina's two-year-old Shiloh thinks so, too, apparently. Brad tells Oprah she insists on being called "John," which is the name of one of Wendy's brothers. Except when she answers to "Peter."

When she was born, my Teutonic father said, with a look of grave consternation, "I couldn't believe it when I heard that name! I thought, Shiloh Pitt...Pile o' Shit!"

When I couldn't stop laughing, his frown deepened and he scolded, "It's not funny! That is a TERRIBLE name for a child!" 

What's funnier is that none of the big ol' celebrity bloggers seem to have noticed this. Maybe it's one of those goofy "sounds-like" thingies that only foreigners notice. If so, whoops. Sorry for pointing it out.

I look young like the sunrise

I forgot to mention I got carded at the liquor store on Friday. Had to go out to the car for my ID and everything.

What we didn't mention

The election that keeps on giving

Have we all choked up and wept enough? No, I don't think we have.

Nader vs. Smith on Fox News

Jesus God. Of all the incredible things this election has wrought, finding myself siding with FOX NEWS has got to be the weirdest.

Shut up, Ralph, you washed-up, racist, self-important shitbag.